Day 7

V. good news: Going to war! Finally! Stayed so long here am bored. What's the use of training (and a good ass) if you don't go to war?

Dunno where we're going, some place called Ikal or Ibab...something with an 'I', lots of it on news but don't have time for such silly things. Polishing guns and admiring muscly self in mirror are important matters that take much time.

In other news, Corporal Fred is coming too. Am quite convinced that he is a faggot. Might just be my imagination.

Day 6

Talked to Corporal Fred. About my butt. About my firm, juicy, tender, oh so utterly squeezable butt (Corporal Fred's words). Wondered what fuss was all about, thought army supposed to get you into shape. Let him squeeze, but he tried to make other grabbing motions and stopped him. Do not go down that path of the pike, I told him. Very disgruntled, he was.

Not sure, but think heard him mutter "we'll see about that."

Must've been my imagination.

Day 5

Yes, Corporal Fred DEFINITELY staring at me. Actually, my butt.

Honestly, if he wants to know how it's so firm, he could just ask. Would let him touch. It's such a nice ass. No need to be all starey about it.

Will confront him about it tomorrow.