Day 6

Talked to Corporal Fred. About my butt. About my firm, juicy, tender, oh so utterly squeezable butt (Corporal Fred's words). Wondered what fuss was all about, thought army supposed to get you into shape. Let him squeeze, but he tried to make other grabbing motions and stopped him. Do not go down that path of the pike, I told him. Very disgruntled, he was.

Not sure, but think heard him mutter "we'll see about that."

Must've been my imagination.